Grievances Against My Husband (Again)

Sorry for the lack of posts...I've kind of been in a funk again lately. I get like this every once in a while when the stress from work builds up and I start to notice (again) how Mark never (ever) helps out with anything (absolutely nothing!) around our apartment.

We seem to have this "talk" every month or so and he always "promises" he'll "try harder" but alas I find myself in the same situation time after time after time.

I'm no dummy...I know that other husbands help out around the house. I've seen it with my own two eyes: men taking out the garbage, husbands washing the cars, guys getting the mail/cleaning the garage/doing an occasional load of dishes or laundry. My own father does some of these things on a regular basis and he's a farmer with a very time consuming and demanding job!

My dear, sweet husband works at a car dealership and four out of the five work days he is home before I am. Still, nothing gets done. Dirty clothes and kleenex are heaped by his side of the bed, dishes are left to fester in the sink, garbage cans overflow, newspapers pile up beside "his" chair, water glasses collect on "his" end table, the car and garage remain dirty and cluttered and the mail sits, waiting patiently in our mailbox until I find the time in the wee morning hours to collect it.

Yesterday I spent several hours at my parents house catching up on our laundry. He sat at home watching the first NFL game of the season. I came home to find him sleeping in "his" chair with all sorts of Mark-sized messes left in his wake. I didn't fuss or yell or beat him senseless...I simply ushered him off to bed and cried myself (quietly) to sleep.

Sometimes (ok, quite often lately) I feel so helpless, like I should just give up. I mean, why bother if he's going to mess everything up and not even attempt to try.

This is very scary for me, because if I'm finding it difficult to keep up with the housework now I'm sure I will fall even further behind when we have kids. Wait...do I even want to bring children into this equation? Why can't he just find it in himself to help me out? I don't understand and I'm sick of hearing him say he'll change and then refusing to try.

Ugh. I'm so crabby and upset...I suppose I should take these feelings out on my dirty shower or sink full of dishes....