iMaGeS

The other day my cute little niece ran up to me, very excited to tell me about a favorite new TV show she'd been watching.

"Zoey 101 is soooooooooooooooo cool!" she told me.

I knew I'd heard about that show somewhere but couldn't quite place it, so as soon as I got home I googled it. I'm sure you've heard of it too - it's that teeny bopper show featuring none other than Jamie Lynn Spears, Brittany's younger sister.

Though I've never watched it, I'm sure the show itself is fine. It's the actress I have a problem with. Or, rather, the fact that she's a young, teenage mother in the public eye. I am not denouncing teenage pregnancies, because I know many wonderful moms who had babies at a very young age. It's simply not something that every young girl is cut out for, and I don't feel it should be "glorified" by the media.

Since Ms. Spears delivered her baby girl, she's graced the cover of dozens of magazines across the country. Articles quote her gushing about how much she loves being a mom and how it's so great and wonderful undoubtedly sending the message to some youngsters that parenthood is all fun and games. In reality, parenting is hard. Really, really hard. She's sending the wrong message. Period.

She's not the first young, teenage superstar to find herself in this situation and she won't be the last. It's simply depressing to think that this is the image my nieces are seeing.

Celebrities in general seem to have lost their moral compasses in the last few years. Just look at the alarming number of celebrity couples - Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie, Keith Urban/Nicole Kidman - who have children together but are not married.

Again, this is something that has been glorified by the media. The Los Angeles Times recently published an article entitled Hollywood's unwed parents club while Forbes.com writes "living together makes more sense than marriage."

I recognize that marriage isn't for everyone and that for some couples, it really does make more sense to live together and, perhaps, even have children together without marriage. All I'm saying is that this crud should be kept out of the limelight; it shouldn't be something that is played up by newspapers, TV, and magazines as "a new trend in parenthood."

On the other hand, I don't believe that couples should be "forced" into marriage simply because they have a baby. I've seen too many relationships crumble under that stress and wouldn't wish it on anyone. I guess, I just really have a problem with the fact that my young nieces and nephews (and some day my own children) gain so much cultural experience through television. I wonder if these celebrities can even fathom how influential they are. They're suposed to be role models, but lately all I've seen are perfect examples of how our society shouldn't be.

Sporty

Yay! Mark's team won the volleyball league title tonight! They've actually won the last five years in a row...they definately have a good thing going. It's a co-ed team that includes Mark, his brother Randy, sister-in-law Kris and our friends Callie, Steph and Craig. They have lots of fun and work really well together.

We've got lots of sporty stuff coming up in the next few weeks. This weekend Mark and I are running our church's volleyball tournament. His brother Dave has run it for the last few years, but is taking over the food/beverage end of the annual church picnic so Mark volunteered us for the job. It's going to be a lot of work...looks like we have 12 teams signed up so far. We've got to organize the brackets, set up the nets, keep track of the wins/losses, act as referees and handle the pay-out at the end. It will definately be a learning experience, but we both enjoy volleyball and more importantly volunteering and helping out with a church-related event.

Though the bar volleyball league is done as of tonight, Mark's Thursday night golf league still has a few weeks left to play. Pretty soon football starts, so that will be a busy time as well. Mark and his brother have coached the seventh grade youth football team for the last seven years and this year are moving up to coach 8th grade. They're very excited about the step up because the kids get to kick/punt at this level. Mark and Randy work so well together and are great coaches! I think to think I'm a good sideline "mom" - I end up being a surrogate mom for them during practice and games...I've got to make sure those meany coaches don't yell too much!

So, it will be a very busy, very sporty time for us for a while. Oh, well I knew that when I became part of this family. Sports are in the Breckheimer blood stream!

9 Months

::Beauty::

Today, Mark and I have officially been married 9 months! I'm not going to lie - things have been rocky, but all that matters is we're back on track and looking forward to our future. It's hard to believe it's been this long...time sure has flown by. We also recently celebrated four years together...it feels wonderful to know I've found my soul mate, the man who will always be there for me through the good times and the not so good.

Let's cross our fingers that the next time I title a post "9 Months" it will be to announce an addition to our family! This might be tmi (too much information) but we went shopping this weekend and I stocked up on home pregnancy tests! When the time comes, I don't want to have to run out to the store to find out...I'll want to know right away! Mark, of course, rolled his eyes. He does that a lot because he thinks it's ridiculous how badly I want a baby. He doesn't understand that all I've ever wanted was to be a mommy. When I was four years old and my aunt asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I answered,

"A mommy...and a truck driver." Lol. Such ambition!

:::Blessings:::

Today, I'm counting my blessings. I don't do it nearly enough, but it's oh so important to take time to stop, think and give thanks and praise for all I have and all I'm able to do.

Things that made me smile/feel blessed/give thanks today:

1. Phone calls from my husband just to say "I love you."
2. A favorite song heard on the radio
3. A rain-free day so my family could finish the hay
4. Mark treating me to a special dinner
5. Finishing another blue baby bootie!
6. ...that our mailbox included an invitation to a wedding and a letter from a dear friend instead of all bills.
7. Helping my mom organize the new house she's waited so long for...
8. My brother's happiness
9. Freshly cut flowers on my desk at work
10. An email from an old friend
11. LOVE!

Babies on the Brain

Seems that a lot of my posts center on my fixation with babies/pregnancy and lately knitting. This post includes all that!

I found this cute pattern for knitting baby booties and have decided to knit three boy-colored pairs and three girl-colored pairs to stow away in one of the dozens of tubs full of baby clothes I've gotten from my sisters-in-law. As I mentioned, I really want this to be a fun tradition for each of our newborns to wear a pair of booties, knit by mommy, home from the hospital.

One blue baby bootie done!

Here are the purple and pink booties (two of each) and the start of another blue one.

Here's the start of another pink bootie!

Hopefully we'll soon have little feet to fill these booties! In the meantime, I'm having lots of fun with my knitting. I've also found a pattern for newborn hats and I'm thinking I might try to figure out that pattern once the booties are done. How cute would that be to have a little one wear matching hat and booties!

Hope you enjoy my ramblings about babies, cuz I don't think they'll stop anytime soon.
On another note, I got a call from my two and a half year old Godson yesterday. He was so very excited to inform me that he "Went poppy on the potty!" Yay Jade! I don't know how I ever lived without these 25 amazing nieces and nephews in my life!?

Date Night, Knitting, Sweaty Temps

Jade grinning after catching beads at the parade!

Ooooooooh we had a busy, busy weekend! Friday night Mark wanted us to have a date night so we went to Appleton to eat at Applebees and see a movie. We ended up seeing "Wanted" with Angelina Jolie. It was very good, but also very gory and had quite a bit of swearing in it. I couldn't believe it...there was a boy who was like 11 years old sitting in front of us and the movie was rated R! I have no idea how he got in there, but I felt uncomfortable with the fact that he was there and hearing/seeing certain parts of the movie. Yeesh, some parents!



We both later realized that Friday (July 18) was the anniversary of our first date! We're both very glad we had a date night to celebrate, even though we didn't realize at the time what or why we were celebrating.



Saturday we kind of lounged around and did some cleaning. I got a lot of knitting done.... a pink pair of baby booties and a purple pair! I'm working a blue pair right now. Mark picked out the blue yarn and was so proud of himself, because now that I've got the first blue bootie started we can see that the color is very pretty. I'll post pics later...I'm having so much fun!



I had to run around to take a few pics for work in the afternoon, then we stopped by parent's place to see how their new house is coming. It looks sooooooooooo nice! Beautiful, really! I'm so happy for them! They'll start moving in this week and should be completely ready to live in the new house by Friday!



Saturday night Mark went to play cards and I stayed home because I was feeling a bit icky-ish from all the darn heat and humidity we've been having. I can handle the heat, but the humidity just zaps my energy. I've also been having lots of headaches lately that I think are allergy related. Anyway, I stayed home and did some more knitting and watched "The Other Sister" which is probably one of my favorite movies. If you haven't seen it...you must watch it!



Yesterday we went to the parade and pretty much melted/sweated our butts off. We sat with Kris and the kids so that was fun, but it was definitely too hot for my liking. We went out for brunch after, then went to Wal Mart so Mark could pick out the baby boy yarn. We lounged/napped/watched TV for the rest of the afternoon then went for Scoops ice cream later. Let me tell you there are some benefits to having my brother/sister-in-law own an ice cream parlor, but there are also some evils ... like the fact that we go there at least twice a week!



Today, we're back to the grind and counting down the days to our Wisconsin Dells vacation. I can't wait to take a few days off work and relax with my hubby. Never know what surprises might happen....

Headaches Galore

I don't know if it's allergies or stress or what....but I've been feeling very headachy and tired for the last few weeks. It's getting pretty sickening....wish it would stop!

We didn't end up meeting with the financial advisor the other night because they called and told us the road in front of their building was flooded and shut down because of the rain! See, I knew it was a bad idea to go.

Mark golfed yesterday and then I went to the musical "Damn Yankees!" with my mom, so I only saw him for about 15 awake minutes yesterday. That can be so tough on our relationship, but yet sometimes it's nice to have some time apart....it makes us appreciate the time we have together.

I was cleaning out the closet Wednesday and found a scarf I started knitting back in December. I really got back into knitting for a while there and even made scarves for a bunch of family members for Christmas. I'm working on finishing up that scarf now, because I realized I never made one for myself last winter!

I've also been looking online for patterns for baby booties, because I read an article where a mom made special booties for each of her children to wear home from the hospital. I thought that would be a nice tradition to start as well. (No I'm not pregnant....yet!) I decided I'll get started making them now and since we know we want to have at least three children, I'll probably make a couple pink pairs and a couple blue ones.

I picked up some really softy pink yarn and some cheap-o ugly stuff. I'm going to make a practice pair out of the ugly yarn, but first I have to find an online tutorial because I cannot remember how to knit a purl stitch!

Back Track: When I was about 11 or so I took some knitting classes through 4-H and learned how to do lots of fun stuff. Then I broke my elbow and had to have my arm in a weird sling for nearly three months and I couldn't knit. This past winter I decided to take it up again, but couldn't remember how to do a simple knit stitch! I found an online tutorial and it all came flooding back to me, but now I'm going to need a refresher to learn the purl stitch and "knitting in the round" which is what the baby bootie pattern calls for.

Mark is kind of rolling his eyes about the idea, but I love knitting because it's something I can do while I watch TV and I don't really have to think about it. He always gets so annoyed because I can never just watch TV, I always have to be doing something else while I watch. Usually it's cleaning or organizing something but lately it's been knitting.

We have an appointment tomorrow to look at a house, though I'm not sure where it is. Mark just left a quick message. It's fun to look at houses even if we know we're not interested in them...we always get good ideas and then we can see what we like and what we don't like. We're really in the market for a fixer-upper ... I think it will be so fun to do the work ourselves! Mark has lots of experience working construction and so does his brother Randy, and I looooooooooove to paint and pick out colors and all that stuff!

Phew. That was a lot of rambling about a lot of different things. I'd better get back to work... (Smile)

Stormy Weaaaaaaaather

Mmmm. Not a fan of storms. It just took Mark an hour and a half to get home from work because the streets in Appleton were flooded and when the hail started coming down, the cars on the highway slowed to around 40 mph. It was awful...that scary-waiting-for-something-bad-to-happen feeling. He called every 15 min. or so just to basically say that he was ok and where he was so I wouldn't worry too much.

He finally walked in the door a bit ago and I just went outside (in the rain!) to see if I could see any hail damage to the car. Can't really see anything, so hopefully that means no damage. We're supposed to meet with a financial advisor at 4 p.m., but I think we should re-schedule. I do NOT want to drive in this nasty weather. It's still really windy, pea sized hail keeps coming down and it's pouring outside. Mark is stubborn though, and insisting we go. It's so frustrating when he won't listen to reason.

He seriously sometimes thinks he's Superman. He does the same thing in winter when the weather and the roads are really bad. I often encourage him to get up earlier on those days so he has plenty of time to get to work without rushing and sometimes I beg him to stay home so he won't have to make the 45 minute trek to Appleton. He tells me I'm being paranoid/irrational/crazy whatever and does what he wants anyway.

I know most men are like that, I just wish he'd see my point of view sometimes and try to understand why I get worried and upset. It doesn't help matters that I hate to be alone in the apartment when there's bad weather. Actually I hate being in the apartment period when it's storming.

About eight years ago a really bad thunderstorm passed through our area. The storm had winds of like 100 miles per hour, and they ripped the roof off the very apartment that we live in. Of course they've fixed the roof since then, but I still feel like there might be structural damage left over and you never know....

Alright, I guess that's enough about that. I have lots to blog about - my parents got their new house, Mark and I are going on vacation, my brother turns 21 tomorrow..... but alas I've wasted all my blogging time rambling on about storms. I'll have to post about those things tomorrow!

Good Times

Mark has been so sweet that last few days...I love it! We went to his brother's house for a cook out yesterday afternoon and he knew I really hadn't been feeling well. He also knows that when I feel "icky" I need to drink 7 Up/Sprite/Sierra Mist - anything white and light. He got a 7Up for me and I went to go sit with my sister-in-laws and nieces while he hovered over the grill with the guys. About a half hour later, he came over and brought me another soda just as I was finishing up the first one! I was so happy and surprised by his sweet gesture.

I started feeling better, but when we got home we both decided to go to bed right away. Without me having to ask him, he cuddled up to me and stayed there for most of the night. (Backtrack: About a year ago we bought a new, king sized bed and because of its huge-ness we sleep so far apart that I often have to ask him to meet me in the middle for some cuddle time. It was so nice not to ask, for him to just want to be with me!)

Then today during one of the many times we talk throughout the day he said "I feel like we didn't spend very much time together this weekend, I really miss you." Awwwww.

My cup runneth over. See, even though there are days when I want to strangle him and wonder why we ever decided to get married....we end up with weeks at a time where everything is great and all that love comes pouring back.

Now that we've got things right in our relationship, we're gonna get started on some serious house hunting. We have a prospect in mind that is so very exciting and perfect for us...now we're just trusting that things will turn out for us and waiting to see if this dream home is in God's plan for us. That's what we truly believe - that everything we do is part of a plan He has set for us. If it doesn't happen a certain way, then it wasn't meant to be.

Oh! I must go, a new episode of Jon and Kate + Eight is on...can't miss it!!

Ahhh, moodiness explained...

*Warning: "girly stuff" discussed below....

So, my moodiness from the past few days was finally explained this morning when I realized it was "that time of the month." Ugh. I had thought my issues with this were resolved, but I guess not.

You see, I was on oral contraceptives (mostly for medical reasons) for more than five years, but at the beginning of this year I decided to stop taking them so I could start to get back into a more natural cycle to prepare for our plans to have a baby.

Since I've stopped taking it, things have been so out of whack and unpredictable and oh so very annoying. I thought things were getting better, though, because the last two months everything was right "on time" and normal. I'm so frustrated right now thinking that if I don't get into a more regular cycle, we'll have many more complications in trying to conceive because I'll never know when I'm ovulating.

Ugh! I'm feeling rather disgusted with the whole thing right now!

Ok, enough about that. We've had a pretty fun weekend so far. Friday night we ordered out Chinese as a special treat and Mark watched the Brewer game while I finished up my book. It was nice to be together, even though we were doing separate things.

Saturday he went golfing in the morning while I did some cleaning and such, then in the afternoon I went to Jazz Fest with my mom while he tried to take a nap. We went to the fireworks last night and they were amazing! We found awesome seats this year and we were able to lie on the ground and watch...it was like they were raining down on us!

We got home around 11 p.m. and Mark got two hours or so of sleep before he had to get up at 1:30 a.m. to get ready to leave for the fishing trip. All the guys met in our apartment's parking lot and carpooled to Sheboygan where the charter boats are.

Mark just called and said the boat he was on caught 18, and the other boat (with the rest of the fam) caught just 8! Mark got to reel in five. Whoo hooo! I'm off to accompany my parents on a shopping trip for some stuff for their new (North Country Homes) house which comes on TUESDAY! Yay for them...they are so excited!

Mark and the guys will clean up the fish, come home to change quickly, then head off to golf. Later, we'll meet up at my brother and sister-in-laws' house for a cook out. Another busy (and painful...ugh cramps) weekend at the Breckheimer household!!

Moody Me

Me (in a good mood) with my lovely Mom!

Yesterday found me in a really, really, really bad mood. I don't know why or how it came about, but I was just in a funk. Nothing made me happy, I felt really down and I just didn't want to talk. So, as usual when I get into these moods a fight escalated between me and Mark.

Ugh. The details are stupid and not even really worth delving into, but suffice it to say we had another argument and there was some crying and yelling and in the end everything is fine again.

I don't know why I have these insecurities or why those choose to come out when I'm feeling blue, but these fights are just getting old. So, I've made the decision to not let my bad moods affect/effect (never sure which to use!) my relationship with my husband.

If I'm feeling "ugh" and need to be alone, I'll simply say "Please leave me alone, I need some space right now" instead of launching into some awful tirade. Sure, it sounds easy now but just wait till that next funk hits and we'll see how I handle it...

Anyway, I'm looking forward to a fight-free night with hubby and enjoying a really good book, which always puts me in a good mood.

Despite my mood, I had a very productive day yesterday. I did lots of cleaning/re-organizing/purging of stuff and feel pretty good about my accomplishments. So often, I tell Mark that I hate this apartment but really it's kind of cute and cozy. I guess what I mean to say is that I'm used to having grass and space and I hate that our apartment doesn't have that. Hmmm...that's a good insight I should definitely tell him that.

Anyway, I'm going to Jazz Festival with my mom tomorrow afternoon and then Mark and I will be going to the fireworks at night. Sunday is the annual Guys' Charter Fishing Trip/Golf Outing and we're getting together for a Salmon Grill in the aft. - busy, busy, busy! Ciao for now!

A Challenge

So, it's no secret that I'm a blog lurker. I read dozens of blogs and learn lots of great things from motherhood/pregnancy/parenting tips (which will come in handy...some day) to recipes and photography tricks.

I recently learned about a fun, free games Web site from reading a blog. Fun, but addicting. Want a challenge? Check out Magic Pen.

It's fun to read other people's insights and experience life through another's eyes. Next time you're feeling bored, click through a couple of my favorite sites...chances are you'll learn something useful. Even if it is just another addicting game!

Living Life Breathlessly
A young CF woman who recently received a life-saving double lung transplant...

North of Reality
A mom to 25 kids (some adopted, some biological) dishes on the challenges and joys of raising a brood of children.

Life in a Shoe
This mom writes about her nine children...and her plans for more.

Joel's Journey
This family lost their little boy, Joel to neuroblastoma (cancer)and write about the pain associated with losing a loved one to this horrible disease and how they find strenght through God.

SarahAnne Photography
Check out this talented photographer...she offers great photo tips!

What's in a name?

Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman named their newborn daughter, Sunday Rose Kidman Urban. Odd? Yes. The most unusual? No.

I was reading an online article the other day about the "new trend" in baby naming. Basically couples choose their favorite word(s) and create a name for their precious baby. If Mark and I did that, we'd be in serious trouble. We'd end up with a daughter named Pink Beer Breckheimer or a son called Convertible Chocolate Breckheimer.

Here are some "unique" baby names highlighted in the article I read - get ready, some of them will shock, amaze and appall you.

Girl Names: Camera, Democracy, Echo, Castle, Hermetta, Mimosa, Shawntika, Osment, Granite, Answer and Meteor.

Boy Names: Tamir, Archer, Hackett, Branch, Laird, Macduff, Rainier, Wainwright, Dagney, Brown, Fable, and Gillus.

These are all names suggested to expectant parents as strong/beautiful monikers. I for one, hope there is never a little Camera or Macduff Breckheimer toddling around at Christmastime!

*Pink*

My new pink crocs and pink phone!

(See last post.)

Time for another change?

Hmmm....I'm thinking it's time for another template change! I so love tinkering around with things like that, so expect a new look in the next few days!

The past few days, I've really enjoyed learning new things in photoshop. It's amazing to me that I've had the program on my computer for ages but I never took the time to learn more than simple photo editing.

Now I'm learning new things about layers and colors and it's oh so much fun. It's actually rather time consuming and addicting, but I'm so glad I learned how to do it at this stage in my life - it will come in so handy when I want to keep up with the goings-on in my little one's lives!

I've always loved scrap booking and in fact I did it pretty much throughout my entire high school career. I made a really neat scrapbook of our first year together and presented it to Mark on our one-year anniversary. He loved it! Since then, I haven't had the time/ambition to create even one scrap book page. Not even of our wedding!

So, with this new photoshop scrapping I can really see myself keeping up with it. Each page takes 15-20 minutes, (or less!) depending on what elements I use. I found this great high-quality print paper at Hobby Lobby that allows me to print out the pages without the photos looking very grainy or otherwise distorted. The color is pretty crisp as well. I plan to pick up a new scrapbook with plastic pages and voila! I'll be able to scrapbook without having to print out pictures, buy the decals and paper and spend hours of my time.

There's one thing that's been very challenging for me - printing out pictures. I'm so used to our wonderful digital cameras where I simply load the pictures into folders on the computer. At least once a month I'll log on to walmart.com and upload several dozen pics to have made into a photo cd. I rarely print the photos though!

The other day I actually went to the store with the intent of printing a few cute photos of our nieces and nephews. I found myself tapping my foot with impatience as I waited for the machine to load my camera card and recognize all the files. Whoa! What a digital/online world we live in! Remember when all cameras had rolls of film that had to be developed and picked up more than a week later? Sorry, no time for that these days!

In other news, things are going wonderfully between hubby and me. We haven't argued at all since our last big discussion and we've been paying extra attention to each other, making sure the other is happy. It's great! We're making real plans for our future as well and it's so nice to have things to look forward to!

I am also the proud new owner of pink crocs and a new pink phone. The Alltell people were running a buy-one-get-one sale on Samsung Hue phones so it worked out perfectly for us to each get a new phone when we renewed our plan. The phones came with red and blue faceplates, but hubby knew I really wanted a pink phone so he asked the phone guy if there were any pink faceplates. For an additional $10 we got a three pack with pink, green and white...I was such a happy camper!

Then we went to Rogan's to get Mark some new work shoes. They had a buy one, get one half off sale so he said I could pick out a pair of shoes. I got some pink crocs for only $12! Whoo hoo! It was a fabulously PiNk day!

Photoshop Fun

I've been spending some time working with photoshop and I am having so much fun! I thought I'd post a few of the scrapbooking pages I've been working on. Enjoy!

Fightin' and Makin' Up

I know, I know it seems like all we ever do and all I ever write about is our fighting. We had a bad one last night, but it turned out to be a really good thing because I think it cleared the air about a lot of stuff we've both been thinking and feeling.

It all started with us watching this show, The Baby Borrowers. It's a very strange show and overall it really annoyed me, but it also made me think about just how unprepared Mark will be when we have kids. Everyone always tells me it will be different when they're his own kids, that he'll just have to step up and do it, that he'll love a baby because its ours. Everyone telling me that doesn't make me believe it, though.

So we got into a small argument about our plans for starting a family that escalated into accusations from me regarding his unwillingness to help with cleaning and his pointing fingers at me because I "never cook."

Ugh, thinking back on it now it seems like such a stupid, pointless argument. Most are though. I think this one was just a result of a lot of pent up feelings and frustration we both had and needed to discuss. We were up until after midnight crying (that was mostly me), talking, yelling (sorry neighbors!) and getting it all off our chests.

In the end we made up (really, really, really made up! smile) and I feel so much better about everything. He mentioned starting to try (really try) for a family as soon as September! We're also going to start looking in earnest at fixer-upper houses. We decided that we'll stay on the look-out for a house in the country for the next few months but should I get pregnant, we'll likely put an offer in on a house we found and like in the city.

It's important to both of us to be have a house/home to bring a baby into. Nothing really against apartments, it's just what we've always discussed. I think this is a pretty good solution - we've still got time to look for a house in the country, but have a back up plan in case we'd get pregnant right away. We're both realistic and realize it could take months of trying before it actually happens, or it could happen the very first time. Either way we've got a plan.

We both said some pretty hurtful things to eachother last night, but in the end apologized and both decided to work on the things we can work on and learn to let the small stuff slide.

This weekend, we're going to book a vacation! We'll probably go to Wisconsin Dells sometime next month just to get away for a few days and be together. We really want to do something fun for just the two of us before the summer is over, because it just may be our last vacation together without the pitter patter of little feetsies accompanying us!

I'm feeling very excited about our future and in a way, so happy that we have these fights and arguments. We're both pretty passionate people and we just need to have little blow ups so we can appreciate all we do have. The making up isn't so bad either! Wink, wink!

Back to work!

Ramblings about houses and doors.

Donna, the lady who lives across the hall from us, and I have door decoration wars. It's an unspoken thing, but oh so funny. It started shortly after we moved in an I hung a cute sign "Live, Laugh, Love" that I'd picked up at Gordmans on our door. A week later she had a sign on her door "Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

Since then, we've been battling to see who could find the cutest door decoration. We've both got something for every holiday, and a bunch of cute in-between ones. I call the shots. When I get sick of our door dec and change it, she promptly rifles through her collection and changes hers. The lady who lives on the other side of the hall also recently joined in...although Mark says her door dec looks like the jungle - its one of those flowery/weedy things that takes up pretty much her whole door!

Anyway, the sign that's currently on our door reads: "No matter what, no matter where it's always home if love is there." (My blogger header.) It's such a cute saying, but it's really not all that true.

We've lived in this apartment for almost three years and in that time we've had big plans for our life. First, we planned to buy a fixer-upper house and live there for a few years before hopefully selling for a profit. Then, we got all excited about building our dream house on five acres of land we bought from my parents. So we've spent the last few months finalizing blue prints, meeting with builders, looking over price estimates...and we've realized we're just not financially ready to build this year. So we sit. In this apartment.

This apartment that is too small and too impractical for having children. This apartment that is upstairs and in a complex full of retired people. This apartment that has only one garage and no lawn and is unbearably hot in the summer. We sit.

I'm very restless. I want a home. I want a place with green grass and enough space to invite our family and friends for card parties and holidays. I want a house that has bedrooms that we can fill with babies, toys, diapers and memories!

Ahhhh! Money seems to hold us back in everything we do. I love my husband and the time we spend together, but I really feel like something is missing. I want so badly to be a mommy and I know that as long as we're living here, that won't happen. Mark even suggested we "prevent" pregnancy for the time being until we're more stable. Sigh.

Oh well, enough moping. There's laundry to do....