So Frustrated!

The last few days have been very "icky" for me. I'm so frustrated with things that are going on between me and Mark...I could scream! I don't know how to get through to him - he's changed so much in the last few months. Grrrrrrrr!

It all started with another argument about his lack of helping out around the apartment. The argument escalated when he informed me that he was going out with some friends after golf league last night. We've had a very busy week and have seen each other maybe a combined total of five awake hours since Sunday...and he CHOOSES to go out with his friends over spending time with me. Before he left, I asked if he could throw in a load of laundry because I wasn't feeling well and wanted to rest for a few minutes. He actually threw a tantrum! He started stomping his feet and slamming things around!

Mark put in the load, then left the apartment (slamming the door) without kissing me goodbye! That is only the second time in the nearly four years we've lived together that he's done that...it made me feel horrible! He came home after 10 p.m. last night, changed clothes and promptly passed out in bed. That made me even more angry because I really wanted to talk about things and he just pretended like everything was normal. It was ridiculous!

He kissed me goodbye this morning and I let him, because I'm a firm believer in making every "good-bye" count - it could be the last. But, when he called during a break at work I let him know I was still upset and really felt like we should talk about things tonight. He of course got all defensive, saying he had the right to be angry not me. He said I was being too controlling and demanding and it wasn't a big deal since (according to him) he hadn't gone out in a while. Funny I had to pick his drunk ass up last Saturday when he went out with his friends, leaving me home to be the good "wifey" and clean up his messes.

If I wasn't working, and stayed at home all day while he brought home the bacon - our situation would be different. Then I could see how he'd "expect" me to do the household chores and cooking etc. That's simply not the case. My job, in fact, is more demanding than his and I work odd hours, so I expect him to help out. When he doesn't (which is more often than not) I get upset and angry...I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. How can I keep things clean when he doesn't try?

All I'm asking is that instead of leaving his dirty breakfast dishes on the counter, he takes three extra steps to put them in the sink. Or, if the toilet paper roll is empty he grabs a new one. He could also put his dirty clothes into the hamper instead of on the floor, a mere foot away from the basket. He could also put his shoes in the closet when he gets home from work and hang his ties up instead of draping them over the couch. All I ask is that when he's done reading a magazine/newspaper etc. he put it into the recycling bin instead of piling them up next to his recliner until I get sick of looking at them and put them away. Every once in a while he could load/unload the dishwasher, wash/dry/fold the laundry, make the bed, pick up the pile of Kleenex next to his nightstand.... While he is physically capable of doing all those things, he won't. Why? Because he was spoiled by his mom, he's lazy and he expects me to do it.

For months, years even I've been making excuses for him, but I'm done. This is it. Something has to change or I'm outta here. I'm not going to be his second choice any longer. I'm not going to be his maid for even one more day. I've had it, I'm throwing in the towel.

If any of you dear readers know my husband and want to try to knock some sense into him, you're welcome to ... as long as you use a sturdy baseball bat. Phew. Feels good to vent.