The Dream

I had an amazingly realistic dream last night. I simply can't get it out of my head.

In my dream I had just had a baby...I mean just. It was so real (at least it was as real as I think having a baby might be). Anyway, I won't share all the details of the dream, but it's definitely prompted me to do some serious thinking. Why? Because I was sooooooooooooo happy in my dream. Happier than I 've been in a long time.

This got me thinking because, truthfully I've been having mixed feelings about our plan to start a family. There are a number of reasons why it would be better to wait (insurance issues, the question of maternity leave/vacation at my new job, the fact that my OBGYN is leaving the practice...etc) so lately, I've been leaning toward waiting till Spring to really being trying to conceive (meaning charting ovulation and creating a schedule).

Mark is fine with whatever my decision is. He's at the point where he's ready for us to become parents, but he's not exactly chomping at the bit for it to happen right now. And neither was I. Until that dream.

It's all I can think about. I've smiled non-stop today. I mean I could feel that baby in my arms, smell his sweet head, see myself in his eyes. I can't shake it...that feeling...amazing.

So, I've decided. On Sunday when Mark heads out to the Packer game, I'm going to go on a shopping trip. I'm going to buy a basal thermometer, a Fertility for Dummies book and about a zillion pregnancy tests. And we're going to see what happens...because I really want that dream to be real.