Ramblings about houses and doors.

Donna, the lady who lives across the hall from us, and I have door decoration wars. It's an unspoken thing, but oh so funny. It started shortly after we moved in an I hung a cute sign "Live, Laugh, Love" that I'd picked up at Gordmans on our door. A week later she had a sign on her door "Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

Since then, we've been battling to see who could find the cutest door decoration. We've both got something for every holiday, and a bunch of cute in-between ones. I call the shots. When I get sick of our door dec and change it, she promptly rifles through her collection and changes hers. The lady who lives on the other side of the hall also recently joined in...although Mark says her door dec looks like the jungle - its one of those flowery/weedy things that takes up pretty much her whole door!

Anyway, the sign that's currently on our door reads: "No matter what, no matter where it's always home if love is there." (My blogger header.) It's such a cute saying, but it's really not all that true.

We've lived in this apartment for almost three years and in that time we've had big plans for our life. First, we planned to buy a fixer-upper house and live there for a few years before hopefully selling for a profit. Then, we got all excited about building our dream house on five acres of land we bought from my parents. So we've spent the last few months finalizing blue prints, meeting with builders, looking over price estimates...and we've realized we're just not financially ready to build this year. So we sit. In this apartment.

This apartment that is too small and too impractical for having children. This apartment that is upstairs and in a complex full of retired people. This apartment that has only one garage and no lawn and is unbearably hot in the summer. We sit.

I'm very restless. I want a home. I want a place with green grass and enough space to invite our family and friends for card parties and holidays. I want a house that has bedrooms that we can fill with babies, toys, diapers and memories!

Ahhhh! Money seems to hold us back in everything we do. I love my husband and the time we spend together, but I really feel like something is missing. I want so badly to be a mommy and I know that as long as we're living here, that won't happen. Mark even suggested we "prevent" pregnancy for the time being until we're more stable. Sigh.

Oh well, enough moping. There's laundry to do....